Journal | Starting trade career soon

Read [ 1 / 8 ] Books by October 1, 2016  ~ 12.5 %
Lose [ 0 / 10 ] Kilos Body Weight by October. 15, 2016  ~ 0%

22:10 | So I’m almost near that capital margin to start trading, and I’m a little scared. Because I’ve been saving up for months now, with what ever little scrap of money I could put into a jar and in a few days I’ll have enough for a small capital that can absorb the expected losses in day trading. Now I’m no newbie when it comes to stock exchanges and money matters, I have dabbled in long term investing before, but at this point in time where I have no other liquid assets and no job prospect in sight, I’m willing to risk months of earning to at least kick start a way to improve my future.

Day trading is scary, it’s where the most noise can be seen in the market because of how fast money moves, that positions change in seconds, and making the right calls is more crucial as compared to investing where you put your money on an asset and just wait for it to grow.

Anyway, that’s my thought process as of the moment. But I do have other concerns, with the Monday just a few days away, I have to take the freakin exam again. And I’m scared shitless, because I have never needed to retake any exam in my life.

I’m one of those kids who grew up with a lot of schooling advantages that made me stand out among other kids. I could compete in the honor roll, I could participate in academic contests, I was an achiever. All that change when I adopted my bohemian point of view, that grades didn’t matter and that pursuing your calling was the most important thing in life. That’s when things started to go to hell.

I didn’t perform as well because I did everything half assed, justifying my laziness by saying the things I’m doing aren’t contributing to my growth as a person, or by blaming the system’s politics. I slowly became a professional victim, where most of my success came out of half assing and complaining.

But like anything that wasn’t built for Mastery, the foundations of that life crumbled. I realized that I didn’t learn the right skills because I passed requirements through jumping loop holes in the system. I didn’t build the right connections because I was too proud to acknowledge the authority of those in power despite their inadequacy.

I basically didn’t play the game, and now I’m suffering for it.

Well, I’ve learned my lesson and now is my time to bounce back. In a few days I’ll be free of worries, and I can start doing what I know I can be good at. At the same time, I might just be able to stabilize my life, after this one year being penniless.

Oh yeah! Still doing push ups and it feels so good!


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