Journal | Defining the Best Version of Myself

I LOVE READING BOOKS and I think it’s one of my more defined characteristics growing up. When I was a kid in primary school, I would have filled 3 or 4 library cards because of how frequent I would borrow them in the course of a year. I might have gotten an award for it at the back of my head (or it may have just been our librarian commending me for reading a lot), but as I grew older the reading did decline a bit.

I was in college when I began to slow down in the frequency of my library visits, it was this time that I began reading harder forms of fiction that delve into topics I didn’t really like. I was so used to mid level reads like the latter Harry Potter books and the young adult reads at the time. But when I began exploring John Grisham and Dan Brown, I was just overwhelmed at the level of reading then.

Most people think reading isn’t a skill, but it actually is. Not all forms of writing is meant for casual readers. Higher level books have smaller spacing, smaller fonts, complex sentence structures, narratives that require focus lest you get lost in the story and end up confused. It took a while for me to develop a higher level reading skill, but pair that with 800 page textbooks multiplied by 10, that need to be read daily (I was in nursing school). I couldn’t get myself to read fiction or other non academic non-fictions.

ANYWAY, THIS WAS my thought process today as I began re assessing my goals and monitoring my accomplishments. I am down to 1 book every other month, when I know I could be punching out at least 4 a month. So this did lead to me thinking about how much I changed, and the things that contributed to that change. Where did my passion go? Did higher education killed it?

Rediscovering myself is important, so I did begin re reading my Covey and Greene. And the step 1 is very significant for me now. Where am I? Why am I here? What led me to be the person I am now. The step 1 of most self improvement courses begins with Self Actualization. Realizing who you really are, and what you are meant to accomplish. Mastery talks about this very well, how Darwin and Leonardo Da Vinci came from not knowing what they were meant to do in life, to the Masters we know them to be now.

I keep replaying that thought in my head today: what are you meant to do? What am I meant to do? The mental exercise of trying to solve that out will be taxing for the next few days, especially now that I’m taking the blog to new direction again. Let’s see what happens tomorrow.

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