It’s been a while since I began reading on how to build my workouts. Maybe it has something to do with the crushing anxiety that keeps me worried from time to time. And well 45 minutes of working out has a way of helping me relax.
Today, I’m taking some steps. Not some big ones, I don’t think I’m ready to make the stride of mimicking my previous success 3 years ago but steps towards gaining some momentum again. It’s difficult getting the motivation back, and with my track record of reboots as documented in this blog , with months of hiatus in between posts and updates. History states that this time will fail again as well.
So why bother?
I keep thinking about myself, of how I lack the effort to actually try and accomplish something with my life. I’m a Sherlockian and yet, I am trapping myself in the delusion that knowing something equates to being competent. I have bullshitted myself already for so long about how I don’t need to try because I am at my best.
I lie to myself everyday about this for the past few years, and now I’m no where.
Well, I guess a lot of people actually need to try and move past their hindrances and that includes themselves. Today, I have to realize my greatest enemy is myself and I have to beat him.
This begins with tiny steps, I’ve read some exercises from the Big Book of Exercises and now I’ve done some sets. Just a few at a time to accustom myself to the changes that will follow. I’m going to actually follow through. I just need to keep telling myself that I will.