I was fresh into College, and this was a time when I just broke up with a long time girlfriend, and it well led into one unhealthy relationship after another. And with my latest post, I think sharing this book is very relevant. During this time, I was still into books, and also, was very depressed and lonely. So I would visit the bookstore, browse some titles, and weirdly enough I found this book.
Honestly, the only reason I got this book was because of the title and how bitter I was with the state of my empty love life. And the title gave me the impression that this would help me “move on” and get over dating & courtship for good. It never occurred to me that I was in the Religious/Spirituality section of the bookstore and so I went home with this. Sure enough, with each turn of the page, I was not reading a book about “How to Stop Dating”, but a book on how better treat relationships.
But I never really applied this book to heart, as I never read it through completely until a few years back during grad school. Though, now that I’m older and wiser, I came to realize how right the concepts of this book really is.
*warning: This book is very Christian. If you’re the secular type, this post may not be for you.
Joshua Harris gives us a manual for dating in this book. He gives us the in and outs of interacting with society and how sometimes, taking a step back from seeking other people to seek yourself may be the best way to start any relationship. He describes how the fundamental aspects of our perception of a relationship may be flawed that leads to a culture of divorce and failed marriage, and the best solution is found in the title itself: Kiss dating goodbye (for now).
WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT:
Again, it took me years to finish this book, because how most of the concepts appear too absurd to follow, especially if the loneliness in me couldn’t take the fact that I shouldn’t seek the company of others. But now, with how I am with my girlfriend, it all actually makes sense. We are sometimes too selfish with our perspective of a relationship, often taking for granted the privileged it is to share an emotional connection with another human being. This has caused the appearance of jealousy & bitterness because how we want the relationship to exists isn’t fitting into our preference. But Harris tells us that we should first understand that we are never entitled to favors from a significant other, because a relationship is more of a shared burden than a perk. We should always expect to sacrifice a little comfort and convenience because the success of the relationship demands it.
The book details ways on how to perform the things stated, and if you are one of those guys/girls who seem to be collecting ex’s or is unable to find the right one, then try giving this book a go. It may have took me years to fully grasp it’s message, but it’s worth it.